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A PKMN Fanfic By: Cruton
Ash flopped down on the couch, mindful of Togepi. Picking up the remote, he flipped through the channels until he found it.
He had promised to babysit Togepi while his Mom and Misty went out for the night, which proved to be a more difficult task then he had thought. A little baby, away from its mother, was not the most pleasant thing to spend the night with. Pikachu was not available to help, having gone for an vacation at the breeding center, forcing Ash to simply suffer through it. Until he had made a very helpful discovery.
Channel surfing, he noticed that Togepi had suddenly quited. Looking at the screen, he found that he wasn't surprised. It was the great pacifier of males, his second favorite passtime, and the only good thing to come out of America. Organized baseball.
Propting his feet on the coffee table, he patted the little egg affectionatly. "You enjoying this, buddy?" Togepi trilled happily and mimiced swinging a bat. Ash couldn't help but laugh. Togepi could be so cute sometimes.
About halfway through the first inning, Ash felt a small gurgle come up through his stomach. He needed a snack. Telling Togepi to behave himself, he got up and headed for the kitchan. Looking around the cupboard, he saw a rectangular box. Inside was a small bar wrapped in foil. Lifting it up, he licked his lips. A nutragrain bar.Depositing the box in the trash can, he headed back to the living room. That was when he heard it.
"nu..Tra..gr..aan.."
Stopping in his tracks, Ash looked around for the source of the voice. There was no apparent source. Passing it off as his imagination, he started walking again. Right before he reached the living room, he heard it again, this time accompianied by the padding of little feet.
"nu..Tra..gr..ain"
This time, the voice was louder. Turning around, he saw only Togepi, standing there exspectantly.
"Togepi? How'd you get there?"
Togepi simply lifted his arm and pointed at Ash's hand.
"nu..Tra..gr..ain"
Ash looked down at his, then back at Togepi. A small chuckle excaped his lips, like a parent whose child had asked for a sip of wine.
"I'm sorry, Togepi. You're not allowed to eat people food. Misty would kill me if I let you."
Togepi only gestured at the bar and spoke again, this time in a harsher tone.
"Nu..Tra..Gr..Ain!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't let you have it. If you're hungary, I could get you some of Brock's pokechow, if you- Ack!"
Apparently fed up with Ash's voice, Togepi ran up and clamped on the young trainer's face. Using his free hand, Ash calmly tried to dislodge the baby pokemon.
"Get off! Get off! Get off, get off, get off, get off!
Seeing this approach wasn't working out, Ash did the calm adult thing and tried to slam Togepi against the wall by propelling himself face first into the side of the stairs. Togepi pulled himself up Ash's hair, then vaulted off his nose over his head, letting the human receive to drywall meal. With the compitition out of the way, Togepi slide down Ash's arm, where the bar lay in wait.
Sensing his beloved snack was in trouble, Ash grabbed to the closed object he could find, which felt a lot like a cordless phone, and rammed it into Togepi's side. The egg flew off his hand and rolled down the hall. Pulling his head from the wall, Ash saw the little pokemon bawling. A twinge of guilt passed through.
"I'm sorry, Togepi. I really am. I shouldn't have-"
Showing an amazing amount of speed, Togepi lept up and wrapped his mouth around the bar and the hand that was holding it.
"Arrrggghhh! You little freak! Get off my hand!"
Spinning around, Ash began to pound Togepi on the nearest table. Togepi blocked the impact with is feet and lept back, flinging himself against Ash's head. After this series of events repeated itself for five minutes, Ash finally forced the pokemon off. Togepi picked himself up and looked to Ash no worse the wear.
"nu...tra....gra..in" At the sound of those extremly disturbing words, Ash gathered up his courage and made a break in the opposite direction, heading back into the kitchan. Togepi followed behind, his cute little feet pumping.
Entering the kitchan, Ash looked despreatly for a weapon. He wasn't giving up that nutragrain bar without a fight.
Hearing a primal yell, Ash ducked just in time to watch Togepi fly over him. The pokemon tried to bounch back at him from the refridgorator, but lost his footing on a mess on telephone messages. Using this to his advantage, Ash grabbed the throw rug and whipped at his adversary.
Leaping past the rug, Togepi landed on the counter and moved out of Ash's line of site. Slowly picking himself up from the floor, Ash peered over the edge to be greeted by one of the most disturbing sites in his life:Togepi, smiling, in a battle stance, holding a waffle-maker.
Rolling out the way, Ash watched Togepi leap past him and slam the waffle-maker into the fine china. There was a hiss and the smell of hot metal on a wooden shelf. Racing away from the deranged egg, Ash grabbed the closest thing he could find: the twelve speed quisonart. Reving the cooking utinsle up, he pointed it at Togepi.
"Bring it on, yolk boy."
Togepi stared at Ash. Ash stared back. Then, as if on mutual agreement, they lept at each other, appliences blazing. Togepi's waffle-maker glowed with heat. Ash's quisonart hummed and swished. Ash held the quisonart infront of him and braced for the pain. It never came.
Opening his eyes, he blushed. There was one thing they had both overlooked. A waffle-maker and a quisonart did not have esspicially long power cords.
"Pretty ironic, huh?"
"nu..Tra..gra..in"
His opponent's words reminded him of the snack they mutually wanted. Glancing at the floor, he saw it. In the all the excitement, he had dropped the nutragrain bar.
The two of them lept away to opposite sides of the kitchan. Ash grabbed up the closest thing that wasn't attached to the wall: a wooden spoon. Togepi did the same. Keeping the bar in the center, they began to circle each other. Ash tensed his grip on the handle.Togepi held his out behing him. The world seem to freeze.
Breaking from his motionless state, Ash ran forward. Togepi did the same. The world blurred around him. With speed he didn't know he possesed, Ash swung the spoon down at Togepi. He didn't even see his adversary, but he knew he was there. He could sense him.
The world slowed down and Ash found himself on the other side of the kitchan. His arm, with spoon in hand, was stretched out infront of him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Togepi in the same position. Then a dramatic breeze came out of nowhere and Ash slumped into unconciousness.
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When Ash came to, he saw that it was night. All the lights had been turned out, except for a weak light coming from the living room. Lifting himself up and being sure not to make a sound, he crept to the door. Looking out, he saw something that made a Togepi with a waffle-maker seem normal.
A small altar had been built on the coffee table, constructed entirely of toothpicks, wet lint, and old issues of Dragonball. A small fire had been built at the base of the altar. Togepi, dressed in the outfit of a Shinto priest, was praying by the fire. And on top of the altar was the nutragrain bar.
Grabbing knife from the drawer, he tied it to a broom handle. He didn't know what odd ritual that egg was preforming in his house, but it would not be allowed to happen. Removing his shoeing, he skulked down the hallway. Entiring the living room, the silently moved across the shag. Lifting his spear above his head, he chuckled at the fact Togepi didn't hear him. Just as the blade was desending, the front door openned.
"Ash, we're home. We hope you and Togepi had…What in the name of Moltres happened here!"
Ash dropped the spear and pointed at Togepi. Togepi ripped of the robes and pointed at Ash.
"He did it."
"Toki bree."
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Fin
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